too comfortable

{ November 14, 2008 @ 12:37 am } · { My Life, Relationships }
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Today has been really interesting for me. I had to step up and be an adult in a situation that I had really gotten comfortable in. I knew things weren’t the way I wanted them to be all along. But it was comfortable. I actually gave the person a second chance because even though I didn’t want to admit it I was comfortable with us and things were working for me at that moment. But then I realized sometimes being comfortable isn’t always the best thing. That comfort put me in some situations that I shouldn’t and didn’t need to be in and also had me questioning some moral things in my life that I knew were just wrong from the start.

Last week before rehearsal we all submitted prayer requests. Mine was that God allowed me to see the people that I needed to have in my life and those that were meant to be gone. I wasn’t quite sure about the person I mentioned above. I really cared for him but sometimes the good things just didn’t carry as much weight as the bad. We actually spent the majority of our weekend together and had a great time. But when we parted something wasn’t right and who knew that was pretty much our it was nice knowing you outing. I really am thankful that I was able to free myself from getting in far too deep and not being able to paddle back out.

hey people

{ November 10, 2008 @ 12:25 am } · { Uncategorized }
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I don’t really have too much to say. My mind has been allllll over the place since I returned to the US. Between getting acclimated to being at work again, getting back on my schedule, this election (that still has me feeling like I’m dreaming), trying to focus better on my relationship (that I’m kind of in denial about) and life things are kind of hectic.

The weekend was good though. Friday I got a massage and hung out with the guy. Saturday I had a personal day and shopped and got this great Tory Burch bag, had dinner at a mexican spot that I wanted to be good but it was mediocre outside of the sangria. Today was church, then we went to see “Role Model” which was hilarious and had dinner…. pretty normal weekend.

How was yours?

Get out and vote…

{ November 4, 2008 @ 7:16 am } · { My Life }
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It’s about 7:15 am I have been at the polls for about 30minutes.I clearly should have gotten here at 5 even though the doors didn’t open until 7. There are at least 130 people in front of me and 200 or so behind. This is also like a.mini reunion. I’m running into people I haven’t seen in at least 15 years and it’s wonderful to run into them here making history and casting a vote. It’s funny though to see some of my brothers friends that I haven’t seen since I was little (my brother was 11yrs older then me) and some actually creeped me out (talking about that’s you girl you look good… You grew up well…looking just like your sister). Nonetheless I’m glad they are here. Now I’ll see just how long it takes to get in that booth and make history

I’m back

{ November 3, 2008 @ 10:25 am } · { My Life, Travel }
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I’ve been sick the past few days (readjusting to being on US soil) but I am back from a blessed few weeks in Kenya. It was an absolutely amazing experience. Totally life changing. I have pics up so feel free to check them out and a synopsis of my trip on my travel blog… I’ll be back to writing soon

Pictures from Kenya 2008

Gone til November…

{ October 17, 2008 @ 1:13 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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I’m heading to the beautiful place in the picture above

I’ll be gone til November from this blog but I shall be updating on my travel blog

Still Alive

{ October 8, 2008 @ 3:37 pm } · { My Life }
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time is just ticking away and I am preparing for this mission trip. I’m starting to get really nervous/excited. I’m starting to pack and get ready and it’s actually only about 11 days until takeoff. I’m going to be a tad busy up until I leave but I just wanted to write something. Life is great, a few things have changed. People I tried to get rid of came back lol. But it’s actually okay this time because now we are playing by MY rules. Things are good.

things that make me proud

{ October 1, 2008 @ 4:14 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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http://www.dallasisd.org/keynote.htm

Monday Evening Rambling

{ September 29, 2008 @ 5:23 pm } · { Explosion of Thoughts, My Life }
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What is your idea of earthly happiness?

being amongst the people I love

What is your greatest fear?

losing a close loved one

Which living person do you most admire?

My mother

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

That I prejudge alot

What is your greatest extravagance?

Shopping for shoes and bags

On what occassion do you lie?

When it’s for the best or in weakness.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

weight… gotta work that off

Which living person do you most despise?

someone not famous… so I won’t say her name cause she may stumble on here lmao

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

whatever and booooo

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn’t procrastinate

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

that they’d be more health concious

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

surviving all that I’ve gone through

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

A tree… it provides shelter for creatures, gives shade in the summer, produces lovely color in the fall, brings nourishment in the spring… it does so much for so many things

Who are your favorite writers?

Fitzgerald, Walker, Ellington, Sanchez, Hurston, Dickins, Shakespeare

Who is your favorite hero/ine of fiction?

The Little Engine That Could

What is your most treasured possession?

life

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

having no purpose

Where would you like to live?

Cape Town South Africa or somewhere with a spectacular view of water

What is your most marked characteristic?

Selflessness

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Compassion

What is your greatest regret?

Not doing my PhD right after my masters

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

What: music. Who: I don’t know his name yet

How would you like to die?

When I’m old and happy… I’d like to fall asleep and just not wake up

Who are your favorite hero/ines in real life?

Dorothy Height… she is truly a super woman

Your favorite painter?

Bob Ross lol

Your favorite musician?

currently Stanley Clarke

The quality you most admire in a man?

Loyalty

Your favorite virtue?

Honesty

Your favorite occupation?

Writer

What do you most value in your friends?

Acountability

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

To die before I fulfilled my purpose

What is your favorite color?

Red

What is your favorite flower?

Alstromeria

What is your favorite bird?

Robin :)

What are you favorite names?

Gabrielle and Elijah

What is it you most dislike?

people wasting my time

What historical figures do you most despise?

probably Hitler

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

high metabolism lol

What is your present state of mind?

Contemplative

What is your motto?

Stop expecting people and things to do for me what only God can do

don’t worry… be happy

{ September 24, 2008 @ 9:44 am } · { My Life }
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I’m at that awkward age now where friends are starting to move on towards the next step in their lives, whether that be marriage, starting families, better jobs or buying homes. I’ve never really been the type to get jealous when someone that I am close to has a success because in my eyes their success is my success. I have a dynamic set of friends there is a cluster of us that have advanced degrees and are making moves career wives, there is a cluster that are great wives and moms, there is a cluster being fierce women buying homes and making moves. We are all great and I’m extremely proud that me and my girls can rule the world. So it was a bit disheartening when recently something major happened to a friend and some of the others genuinely couldn’t be happy for her because they were all wrapped up in their own issues. I’m not saying that if you are struggling to make ends meet and your friend comes in and says I got a raise now I’m making 150k that you do a backflip but seriously we should be happy when something good comes to one of us.

Not only should we be happy that someone has accomplished something big but for me I’m happy because I know one day that same blessing is going to come to me and that makes me excited too.

monday morning ramblings

{ September 22, 2008 @ 10:51 am } · { Explosion of Thoughts }
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Its the first day of fall

It's the first day of autumn

I’m so tired. I started the day off frantically. Because I overslept. yeah it happens, but how does one oversleep when they got a good 14 hours of sleep. I had to get another vaccine friday and I swear those things deplete all my energy. Also why are malaria pills $10 a pill. Do they want folks to not take them?!? I mean seriously $10 a pill and I need 20 and insurance isn’t covering them :(  

Less then a month away until my big mission trip. I feel like I’m ready to go but then I keep thinking there is so much more for me to do. I’m really excited though. I found out I’ll be working in two areas that I really love, with music and childres. So God is really allowing me to make some steps that I didn’t think I’d be able to do.

Have you ever been really into someone?!? You get the opportunity to date etc. Then you get in the weirsd this is about to be a relationship stage and you know off the break hey this person isn’t for you at all AND there is no way that your belief systems are going to align at all. Yeah so umm that happened to me and I got called mean for making the decision to roll out. I feel like at 27 it’s no need for me to get in a serious relationship with someone and waste time when I know and they probably know it’s only going to end with time wasted and horribly. I’ll admit some years ago I would have probably stayed justt o say I’m dating xyz or someone in this profession but it’s so not worth it. I’m trying to find someone that has the potential to be my husband (not trying to scare any dude saying I want a husband lol… just the potential that may lead to it).

I was looking at this bracelet I have on and thought about how hard of a time people are having in this economy. I got it from a jeweler that I like. It’s a small jewelry store not a part of a chain and I know when I have issues they will fix things with no problem and they have some nice pieces. A bracelet I had broke so I went to get it repaired. I went in and the woman practically begged me to buy something. When I say begged I mean she seriously was like please please get something. I’ll give you this $150 bracelet for $65 just please buy something. She was seriously on the verge of tears. I told her I seriously just needed a repair and wasn’t there to buy. She continued to beg the entire time she was repairing the bracelet. To the point where I bought something just so she’d stop. I’ve been going there for a while and it’s usually a painless process. I’ve never actually experienced something like that and she’s probably never done something like that but it was seriously desperation in her ask.

It’s been really interesting the past few days the type of men I attract with straight versus kinky/curly hair lol. Even the bagger at the grocery store treated me differently lol…. he carried my bag out to the car for me and then opened the door for me and closed me in. Albeit this is standard for that particular market (not the opening the door for me part) but all I bought was two boxes of tea and toothpaste so the help really wasn’t needed lol. Then some random slid me his card in church. But it’s funny because people that I met with naturaly hair said I look “regular” with straight hair lol.

I don’t know why this bothers me but I keep meeting men that aren’t into sports. Particularly football. It bothers me that on a Sunday I’m watching the game and am telling you I’ll call you back when it’s over lol. The worst was me watching the inductions into the NFL hall of fame and this guy not getting why I couldn’t talk. I’m like dude it’s Art Monk AND Darrell Greene can’t get any better, and he’s like whatever and had a ‘tude lol. I think because I’m a girly girl guys aren’t expecting me to like it as much and be able to trash talk about it.

Over the weekend I was out and about and I happened to see someone I used to date. It was more of a drive by type of thing so luckily he didn’t see me. Anyway I was like wow I’m not as superficial as I thought because he’s really not that attractive. I know I know… I’m mean lol.

I’m making roasted chicken tonight. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. I just said it so I won’t back out of making it lol.

 

Time to do some work…

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