Archive for My Walk

why do you go…

{ January 6, 2009 @ 8:32 pm } · { My Walk }
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I was talking to a friend today on IM and he threw me off guard with the question he asked me.

why do you go to church?

the question isn’t really crazy but it had nothing to do with the conversation we were having. So I asked why he asked that

i’m just asking all my church going friends.
i wanna know why people go
why they felt it was time to make a change
and what it means to them

I had to pause for a second but then the answer came really easy to me

lets see where do I start
I guess for me the Why is really a why not… for me it’s a time to publicly declare my love for God, it’s a time to see friends, it’s a time to worship, it’s a time seek and build a relationship with God around other people and through other people, it’s an opportunity to be taught a lesson and receive a word, for me it’s definitely a time to minister to others through music
thats just the beginning of why
As far as making a change church isn’t something new to me
it’s been a part of my life as long as I’ve had life
there have been times when I slacked off but that was because I was growing and I knew in the overall scheme of things that I needed to be in a church I was just in places where I wasnt at the church right for me
once I found one that spiritually fed me the way I needed to be fed and where I could be me the way I am 24 hours a day and not have to put on shows that’s where I really felt free and where I was able to grow as a Christian
Church for me isn’t a ritual or something I do out of obligation for me it’s a huge part of my life
it’s a place where I’ve met some of my best friends, where I’ve matured and grown as a woman, where I’ve learned some valuable life lessons, where I’ve discovered myself and where I can be me and it’s okay
so that’s my brief answer

It took him a minute to respond and then he said

some of my other friends couldn’t really express themselves as well as you just did
i mean, i know they love the Lord and church, they just had a hard time telling me why

We then went into a conversation about our purpose in life and finding what fulfills you. This was a question I sooo wasn’t expecting and in most circumstances probably may have been thrown off by, but I realize where I’m at a point in my life where that answer just came easy. I’m growing up.

Creating an excellent me

{ January 3, 2009 @ 12:33 am } · { Literary Life, My Life, My Walk }
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Today has been a really interesting day. My coworker and I were discussing one of our biggest issues in life and how it is giving so much to others that we tend to forget about ourselves. We decided that this year would be the year that we really focused on ourselves and what we could do to “create an excellent me.”

What is really funny is that this is something I’ve been majorly struggling with. I do alot for myself but I felt it was kind of selfish to start to add more shine to my life. But I realized hey if I don’t do it who really will. We were also discussing letting go of people and things that aren’t enhancing our lives. This is also something I have been really thinking about that has been weighing heavy on my heart for months.  She mentioned a passage that her pastor read that came from Luke chapter 9

Jesus called together his twelve apostles and gave them complete power over all demons and diseases. 2Then he sent them to tell about God’s kingdom and to heal the sick. 3He told them, “Don’t take anything with you! Don’t take a walking stick or a traveling bag or food or money or even a change of clothes. 4When you are welcomed into a home, stay there until you leave that town. 5If people won’t welcome you, leave the town and shake the dust from your feet [a] as a warning to them.” 6The apostles left and went from village to village, telling the good news and healing people everywhere.

It was nothing but God that I read that. It’s written right there to essentially go out with no baggage and take a journey. If people welcome you stay there if not brush the dirt off and keep moving to the next thing. That was my mini aha moment where I realized with some people it’s time for me to go ahead and move to the next town. Leave them in 08 and get up and leave for 09. The funny thing she mentioned that her pastor said was if the people you are leaving behind are smart and good for you they will get their stuff and come to the next town with you. Otherwise leave it behind. It’s funny that in my planner I have different things for each month that I want to do to enhance my life. For January it said rid myself of anything that isn’t making a positive impact on my life. That conversation and scripture was such a confirmation.

Throughout the day various things happened that seemed to test me and my new attitude is to really go with the flow until I can find a solution to make things better. When I left work I decided to go to the bookstore to see if I saw anything I liked and I came across a few books that were really excellent that I ended up buying. One book I sat and took notes from (shhh don’t tell). I randomly came across it but it was the book I was looking for it’s called The List: 100 Ways to Shake Up Your Life. It’s essentially various things that push readers to do something they’ve always dreamed of or to do something they’ve never dared consider and it gives stories of women that have done them. Some things I’m just not going to do (like sleep with some random or get plastic surgery lol) but other things are stuff that I want to do but wouldnt have popped in my mind like taking a class to learn how to sail or spending 24 hours in bed or even shooting a gun.

Also read a little book called The Traveler. It was really short and maybe 50 pages if that but it was a great story that showed how one can seek perfection and miss all the great things that happen in life all around you.

I also picked up a few other books so my reading for the next few weeks should be great. Going in the bookstore which was totally unplanned really helped solidify some things for me. I was supposed to go to a happy hour but instead spent an evening writing and processing and reading things to simply put create an excellent me this year.