a.new.direction

I think a memo was sent out at some point this month. Hey if you ever dated Christen give her a call- she won’t mind. If you can’t call- text, email or IM her.

That seems to be the pattern. Maybe I’m too nice and I entertain people far past the allowed limit and so they feel the door is always open to return. I try to be nice (77% of the time) and remain cordial and and so on. But perhaps I have to stop the give everyone a fair shot to explain themselves approach and just say forget it. Perhaps I need to look out for me and then compare the consideration they had towards me to what I return to them. It’s funny I say all that and still really can’t shut folks down.

I went on HELL date with someone a few weeks ago. When I say HELL date I mean HELL date. He’s one of those people that could have been my friend forever but once he decided that he liked me that destroyed the friendship element as well. He embarassed me horribly when we went out being loud and rambunctious and so on and I got so frustrated that if I was fool enough to fight I would have kicked his ass on the spot. So after the date he texts me and says “thanks for putting up with me today” so wait- you KNOW that you are a nut. Even worst. Then like two days later he thinks that everything is AOK and we can go back to normal. Where I am sitting there like I don’t ever want to see this dude again. All that to say I NEEDED to shut him down, tell him how he sucks and hand him the 20 bullets to go with it on why. But I coldn’t. Because I knew it would hurt his feelings. That date solidified why he was single and probably will be a long time unless he meets a woman that really will put him in check. I can’t be it. I don’t wanna be the fixer upper.

Then someone else randomly emailed me out the blue that I dated 8 years ago. Wanting to know if I’d consider dating him again. I’ve changed alot in a year so hell eight years ago- out of the questions. Like I don’t even know you. You saw me on facebook got turned on that I got a few degrees and now we should be together. Come on. I was 19 years old. Aint nothing about me the same except my name.

People always say women don’t let go but I think it goes both ways. Guys grow too realize what they had/let go/why they got let go etc. and think hey let me go back and pick up where I left off. What they fail to realize is my life has continued to go on as well. Stuff I thought I wanted, I don’t, stuff I thought I didn’t need is now essential. I grew and continue to grow.

I do wish I got a warning or something before these memo’s go out. At least I’d be prepared lol